This is your life...Well sort of!

Yesterday, I was accosted by a Revenue Protection Officer (don’t worry; I’m not into credit card fraud). It wasn’t until he bellowed, ‘Tickets please!’, that I cottoned on to who he was. Later that day, I had my sandwich designed I guess, by a ‘Sandwich Artist’ at Subway. As a recent graduate, I’ve been used to seeing these glamorous job titles that amount to little more than a bigger name badge. Is it the PC brigade done mad? A bid to instil self-esteem and attach some importance to an otherwise menial and repetitive job?

CV

Literally means ‘story of your life’, but with 1 in 4 people lying on their CVs, how does the employer know what they’re getting? I, as a lover of words, and have embellished my work as a bar person and waitress to show how I’m suitable for a job in publishing/magazine/or whatever else it may be on countless occasions.

I have a passion to inform the public = I tell customers what the day's special's are

Some of my more audacious friends however, have stretched the truth as far as a t-shirt over Pamela Anderson’s chest. Apparently they’ve worked for the government, the High Commission, the Prince of Wales! Being a steward at a Princes Trust event does not mean you’re on Charlie boy’s payroll. But seeing as he and the government mash up my pay cheque with tax every month, it does seem as though I’m working more for their benefit, than my own.

Employers

Maybe it’s entirely their fault. They’re the one’s searching for ‘Britain’s Top Talent,’ ‘A power player,’ someone who can perform surgery with one hand, write a novel with the other, while running the marathon SIMULTANEOUSLY. We feel we have no choice but to raise our game. To finish, a few choice words from an advert for everyone’s favourite network provider – T Mobile (EKHT- everyone kisses their teeth):

Join T Mobile and you’ll soon discover personal development opportunities and great training that’ll give you the scope to develop an enjoyable and rewarding career. In fact we’ll positively encourage you to take your career just about anywhere in our business.’

This is an ad inviting you to work for customer services at T Mobile. Since when has having someone scream down the phone to reconnect them been enjoyable or rewarding? Hmmm…