This is a plea to the nation! Please heed my cry! For humanity's sake, I implore you to ignore the attention-seeking antics of the Big Brother contestants on the outside.
There is something perilously desperate about many of this year's contestants. Never have I seen such pathetic clamouring up the wall of the pseudo-celebrity (so desperate in fact, their acrylic tips are in danger of snapping).
I appreciate that everyone needs to make their way in life as best they can, but as well as desperate, this bunch are LAZY!!! Ziggy, while contemplating leaving/eviction (and licking his wounds as he's no longer the head of the pride) states magnanimously, 'I've had a good run.' Three weeks? Good run? Reaching your golden wedding anniversary is a good run. Being undefeated heavyweight champion of the world is a good run.
Shabnam wore illuminous make up and was generally wierd for a few days and thinks that that entitles her to "deals." Charley is a crap weave with legs and a dream (is there relaxer cream on the shopping list?). No mouthstopper, but a dream all the same. So deluded is she, that she barks down the exact fame she seeks with her been-there-done-that attitude. Hmm, I wonder how much champagne Jobseekers Allowance buys these days?
But essentially, it is us, the public that helps them "earn" their living. Every copy of a weekly glossy purchased means another unberable nano-second in the airbrushed limelight for them. If you want to see Channelle's crotch (now, now boys) when she falls drunkenly out of a club then so be it.
If you want to see Shabnam presenting Soccer AM, Mastermind of X Factor (those bulbous pupils won't let anything pass her) then good luck to you. I, for one will be blocking them out will all of my might in the hope that I'll open my eyes and it will all have been another generic, boob-inflated, over-tanned and overstraighted nightmare.